THE GREATEST LIST FOR @)!(
Hope yall got that joke, its when you hold down your shift key (on a macbook duh im ri$h bich) and type two thousand nineteen.
Fashion week is almost over and its time to make insane predictions about what we will be wearing for the rest of 2019 and maybe even 2020, and probably 2021 if you are a PHILISTINE like most of yall seem to be. These are in no certain order, and in no certain level of importance or impact to mankind at a societal or spiritual level (ooh ghosts).
OUT for 2019
As Marie Kwazimoto would say, you must first kiss these things on the lips and tell them that they no longer bring you joy and vehemently deny that they ever did and delete every picture on social media with these things, then throw them away.
-Ripped jeans
Yes those now faded black jeans that you cut a hole through the knee of when you felt free spirited and “bored”. Throw those away right now. Don’t even bother giving them to goodwill. Zach. I’m talking to you Zach (sorry).
-Jeans
In general. There are cool other options for pants that aren’t denim. Cotton Canvas, Wool Flannel, Track pants, space suit bottoms, the top half of a horse costume, the list goes on and on
-Any type of milk from nuts/bread/fruit/vegetables.
Ill admit it, this had a big moment in 2018 but you need to jump ship QUICK to next the dietary restriction fad or you are going to look like a big capital L loser.
-Following van accounts on instagram (sorry again zach)
First it was tiny homes, then it was vans, then it was throwing away everything you owned, now we are back on our maximalist capitalistic bullshit. Lets buy that F350 tank never empty and every color tee shirt because we are boring people with how much stuff we have now, not how little we have now.
-AllBirds (not linking, you know what it is)
Lets be honest even in 2018 this was risky but as of January 1st, 2019 it is now a Federal First Degree Felony. Shoes don’t need to look like socks. Socks don’t need to look like shoes. Unless you are talking about these socks, that actually were made to look like you are wearing your favorite Nike SB dunk inside your favorite Nike SB dunk
IN for 2019
-Counting Crows/Barenaked Ladies
We had a large 90’s resurgence in 2017 and 2018, its time to take the leap of faith and jump off of that diving board into the cool and fresh early 2000’s. That means critically acclaimed album “Maroon” by Barenaked Ladies. Including the hit single “Pinch Me”. Throw in some Dido and some Counting Crows, maybe even some Buckcherry “Crazy Bitch” and you will be the hottest DJ in the city/greatermetroarea
-Cowboy Boots
This is a just a personal preference supported by many runway shows and fashion superstars including the man the myth the persona the godson of Prince Albert Ralph Lauren himself.
-Neutrals (still)
yes these were pretty bangin for 2018 but guess what we STILL like them for 2019. Crazy how life works like that. SO reup on your cream, beige, taupe, ivory, chalk, camel, tan, dust, clay, ecru, buff, fawn, oatmeal, sand, khaki, toast, sepia, snuff, hazel, drab, henna, cinnamon, nutmeg, brick, bay, auburn, alabastar, blond, opaline, and brown items because it is gonna be another whole year of opportunities to get fits off.
-Corduroy
Think in softer shades of neutrals. Got some cream corduroys right now that have coffee spilled all over them but instead of taking them to the cleaners I still want to wear them. Coffee is a neutral so maybe it’ll still work
(peep the Holy Father of corduroy Brunello Cuccinelli below, in the classic Money Making post)
-Graphic tees
I’m not sure sure about this but I think they will be cool again. After the sudden influx this summer of tie die and bat shit crazy drugged out shirts like Online Ceramics I think its finally cool again for a FEW graphic tees to trickle in. Not sure though, don’t hedge your bets just yet.
-Sunscreen
I wrote this down in my notes section for this post but forgot why I put it here because most research currently leads to not wearing sunscreen as being much better for your overall well being. Huh.
