Life Coach Quibs: Let Me Inspire You To Be A Better You For All
I almost showered while wearing my AirPods the other day… and that wasn’t even when I knew I had made it.
Let me introduce myself, I’m world-renowned (pending) Certified Life Coach, Crystalist, Guru, Inventor, Author, and Grammy Award Listener Gareth Quibly. My Followers call me Life Coach Quibs. My friends call me Quibs. I call myself Universe Listener. You can call me Life Coach Quibs. You are now my follower. I love you.
I’ve been changing lives through my crystals and inspirational speeches for as long as I can remember, but don’t let my humility fool you, I’m very rich. (read: Quibs Rich: A Guide To Utilizing Money So That Money Doesn’t Utilize You — $16.95/$65.00 Canadian).
I have a lot of celebrity clients, a lot, and I never say their names publicly. Let’s say their names rhyme with Bustin Jeiber, Crom Tuise, The Sock, Spitney Pears, Cily Myrus’s Cousin to name a few. I never retell my celebrity stories, but I have full permission to retell this inspiring story of hope (see my audiobook lecture series: Hope For Quibs: My Journey from Hopeful to HopeFULL - $45.67 on my streaming website Quibsflex $14.95/month).
Famous Hollywood and Coastal Elite Filmmaker Chad Werner reached out to me while I was in the middle of my Jet Ski Meditation. He had a problem and I knew just the fix. So I threw my tenth pair of AirPods into a whale’s blowhole and JetSki’d to the coast, I needed to help my top client (QuibsQuip: Make every client your top client).
After crashing my Jet Ski into my Malibu home, I helicoptered straight to Chad’s mansion. This was an emergency after all, and I knew I could expense the fuel & pilot’s fees to his bill. He was good for it. When I landed Chad greeted me and began breaking down.
“Quibs! Quibs! Help me!”
“Help yourself” I responded.
I pulled out two of my CBD-Yerba-Mate-Matcha-Energy Kombucha Pills, dropped them into a Quibsani Sparkling water (all available on my e-commerce website Quibshit.com) and had Chad drink them to relax. Chad began to tell me of his woes.
“Quibs, my life isn’t fulfilling. I thought after becoming a rich west-coast Hollywood elite, successful beyond all means I would be happy. But it turns out after three divorces, five custody battles, four sunken yachts, and a legal battle with my yacht insurance company I’m not happy. What do I do?”
After consulting Chad to buy a new yacht for me and himself, he seemed alleviated from his worldly pain. Quibs job was complete. I had my pilot fire up the helicopter and flew back to my second Malibu home. It’s not always easy changing lives, but darnit was it fulfilling (read ‘GAREST QuibME: The Quibs Guide to Changing Lives — Change Yourself!’ $15.69).
A week later Chad met me on my new yacht (pre-order ‘Yacht Thoughts: A Quibs-Treatise On The Power of Yachts’ today on Quibsazon and iQuibs Store). I could tell Chad was upset.
“Nothing seems to work Quibs, what do I do?”
“Do yourself” I responded.
Chad heard this, I could tell. You don’t get to his levels of success without some discretion. I sold him one of my rarest crystals, a Samoan Quibsalite from the Hawaiian underground called The Rock, aimed at deflecting all negativity and consuming all positivity. Chad sat with this in my new yacht’s home theater/game room for fifteen minutes while watching my favorite Jim Carey movie 'Mr. Popper’s Penguins’ Meanwhile, I put on my oculus headset and played Zelda.
After submerging from the depths of the yacht theater Chad came out a changed man, I could tell. He was given a revelation. He needed to give back. He remembered a non-profit from his pre-celebrity life: Cherish Uganda, focused on educating and empowering children with HIV/AIDS. Not my first choice of course, I would have had him benefit my for-profit-non-profit “Quibs Totes-4-Tots.” A Charity focused on sending excess Totes from my Quibs’ merchandise inventory to children in sad needy places like Florida, or any of the fly-over states. Chad felt a need to help out Cherish, however, so I told him it was my idea sent through a crystal vision.
Chad decided to do what Hollywood Elites do best, make a Charity Drive about himself. By filming himself watching all the Fast & Furious movies back-to-back he would raise money and awareness for Cherish Uganda. See Below:
So on July 30th watch my Quiblet change the world. Donate to the cause and learn more details at www.chadwerner.com/cherish you won’t regret.
Thank you for reading. You will be invoiced for this wisdom.
~~LCQ~~
