Hey everybody! My name is Chad Werner. I’m interested in MANY facets of creativity: writing, filmmaking, sculpting (my body), marketing, branding (not my body), and most recently Photography!

Taking photos has definitely become a more accessible art-form since the advent of the mobile telephone… and as the sensors get bigger and the lenses get nicer on those darned smart phones, ANYONE can become the next Annie Leibovitz!* Hahah all you have to do is punch up that contrast and add some saturation (and show your ass) and YOU are America’s Next Top (insta)Model/”Photographer”!

For me, I’ve found more of a beauty in the analog, classic, film photography. It puts me in touch with over a hundred years of technology and history that makes me feel like I’m part of a bigger story. I like to make things harder though (LMAO – a classic developer joke: the Fixer chemicals make the film strips harden), so I decided to follow a small hobby-dream of mine and get into developing my own black-and-white (and eventually color) film. Hopefully this step-by-step process can help you too develop your own film, or at least appreciate it. Let’s get into it!

Step 1) – SUPPLIES PREP

You’re going to need supplies. Lots of articles online have extensive lists, so I won’t get too detailed but here are a few starter items…

-          A Paterson Tank (lets you develop in broad daylight!)

-          A Black & White Chemical set (Color sets aren’t much different, but temperature dependent)

-          500ml Beaker

-          A can opener (to crack open your film canister & crack open a cold one once the job is done!)

-          3 – 1 Gallon Photo-chemical tanks

-          Scissors

-          Distilled water

Step 2) – READY YOUR WORKSPACE

Prep your space. Step 3 requires complete darkness so make sure you’ve laid out all your supplies in accessible places. Being right-handed, I like to put my scissors and can opener next to the film canisters on the right-side of the sink, and the Paterson tank and film reels on the left side of the sink. This makes for an easy separated process. Try and practice on a tester roll in the light so you don’t mess up in the dark – you’re going to be completely blind for this next step…

Step 3) – LOAD THE FILM (REQUIRES COMPLETE DARKNESS)

This step is one of the more difficult and mysterious parts of the entire ordeal, hopefully with practice and my guide, however, you’ll be an expert in no time—no more waiting on the pubescent kid down at the five-and-dime to send your film to some facility in Wisconsin, you can develop your own film in a matter of minutes!

First, you must make sure your space is completely dark. Cover up any semblance of light. Before taking your film out of its canister, turn off the lights and make sure there isn’t any sneaky beams making their way into your workspace (I use my restroom). After you’ve taped up the cracks in the door frame and rolled up a towel against the floor, look around: if you can’t tell a difference between your eyes closed or open… you are ready.

THEN, feel around for your film canister and your can opener. Once you have both, crack open that bad boy like a crispy Bud Light on a hot summer’s day. Once the film is out of the canister, this is where things get interesting.

Count to ten. Slowly… very slowly… like you’ve made an ultimatum with the love of your life, and you said, “If you don’t kiss me by the time I reach zero, then I’m walking out that door, and never coming back.”

Once you’ve reached zero, say the following words, out loud, in a chant-like manner. Be careful and do it NO DIFFERENT than as written:

Spirit of darkness, Spirit of Light

Find me now, and find me right

If I I’m worthy, may I see

All my photos , given to me

Clap three times, and close your eyes.

When you open your eyes, you will see an archaic wooden door surrounded by a firey amber hue in front of you (though once you’ve entered this realm, colors don’t necessarily translate). Knock on the door and bow down. If you are found worthy, you will hear a heavy latch from inside the door. Use your can opener as a key to the door, place it inside the lock and turn COUNTER-clockwise. Open the door.

The light from the Exsecuto realm will be blinding at first, in a way that isn’t typical for your physical senses… instead of brightness, it’s more of a reliving of your entire life: past, present, and future all at once as time and space collapse in on itself and the universe expands and collapses trillions of times in the span of what seems like a millisecond, or eternity because time doesn’t exist in this dimension… (don’t worry this part wears off in a thousand lifetimes).

Once in the realm, there is no space either. It’s hard to explain in words, but imagine your entire essence being at one with the essence of infinite amounts of universes, like a drop of water that also becomes an entire ocean… for all you math nerds it can be explained like this:

From here you must wield your way through an infinite cosmos of non-matter, non-language and non-existence collecting your entire essence in a unified manner (the only similar metaphor I can give that gets even sort of close to this process, would be at the end of the Iron Giant, after the Iron Giant has exploded and his parts are all over the world, he slowly starts to rebuild himself because each part has been scattered across all of earth… It’s sort of like that, but your “parts” have been “scattered” across all time and all space and infinite dimensions… and the process takes trillions of years… but remember, time doesn’t exist here).

Once you’ve brought your essence together, the universe will rebuild itself in an instant (or an eternity). This “world” is specific to the developer, because all you are “seeing” is an amalgamation of your paradigm as your essence can understand it. I typically stand in a vast green field with a saturated blue sky that’s not unlike the Windows ’98 desktop background.

You will stand before a table of fifteen dark-hooded judges and their high priest Exsecuto Sacerdos (careful not to look any judge in the eyes… their faces are infinite black holes that take in all physical matter and spiritual soul). The hearing of your case will happen over the course of eternity or an instant (remember, time doesn’t exist). Here they will judge you to determine your worthiness to develop your photos… at the end of their judgement where they assess your soul through a series of equally pleasurable and painful tests, you must state your case… and this is what I say:

“Dear Celluoises, shields of shadow, and bearers of light. I come before you, a humble mortal, to state my case. What I hold before me are not mere photographs, but moments of time. Captured and stored in a physical rectangle, for the rest of their existence. Though we cannot capture time in its entirety, we can store a thought of it… a memory, a shadow of a shadow. What is life but our days, our hours, our moments… and what is a photograph but a moment captured, to be held, to be seen, to be remembered? Some may be out of focus, others blown-out, and others still, perfectly lit…

But isn’t this life?

Moments… some fuzzy, others too much to handle, and others still, kept perfect, experienced perfectly, made stronger by the former mistakes, appreciated by past failures…

I know we’re not to be judged as perfect. I have made my fair share of missteps, but alas, these captured moments that spark memories are a reflection of what we have been given, and for that I am grateful. Sure there are bad seasons, but there are also good… light, by its very nature creates shadows, and in the shadows, we can admire the light. So I ask, in all my goodness and all my failings, to allow me, to grant me, the privilege of seeing what these strips of film hold. To see what “time” I have captured… and to share that as a reminder: we are here… and that is good…”

The judges sit in silence.

All of time stops (though it doesn’t exist) and in the blink of a non-eye…

You are returned to the darkness of your restroom. Once again you can feel physical space, you can smell the photo-chemicals and you’re now holding your developed film in the Paterson tank. Thankful for the universe, and at peace with your soul.

STEP 4) DRY THE FILM

Take out the film and hang to dry! Leave in a cool, dry place where it’s likely to be untouched. You can use a film squeegee to get off excess water, but it isn’t necessary! If the film is too purple, place back in the tank and start over to lighten.

Enjoy the journey!

- CW

*famous photographer