NCAA Football Funnies
The regular season in college football has come to an end.
For fans of the University of Texas Longhorns, such as myself, this ending is a merciful one. A year that started with Big 12 title hopes crashed and burned and then crashed and burned some more resulting in a putrid 7-5 finish, leaving the Bevo faithful hoping for at least a decent, watchable, bowl game.
For others, like maybe the fans of the Baylor Bears or the LSU Tigers, this has been a wonderful year that was unexpected and joyous. Perhaps you don’t want it to end. Perhaps your team is about to play in a conference championship game and play in a great bowl game. You lucky sons of guns. This article isn't for you.
No, we are not writing to the happy-go-lucky college football fan today. If you enjoyed college football this year, you can stop reading this article immediately. You already had your fun for the last thirteen weeks (can someone fact check this? I don't know if that's right).
The compiled list below is for fans of the REAL college football. The college football that leaves you wondering why you’re letting 18-22 year old dictate your mood on most Saturdays in the Fall. The college football that hurts you so bad it makes you wonder if you will ever be cheerful again. The college football that always has your team ranked in the preseason every single year just for the memory of it to come hunt you down and slap you across the face come December.
This list is for those of us who need a laugh after enduring weeks of pain.
So sit down. Relax on the same couch you watched your heart get ripped out of your ribcage all year. Grab an adult beverage and a sponsorship from anywhere you can get it. Just do not get a loan from a relative or you’ll be suspended. The real fans who endured awful football, this ones for you!
Before the fun begins though: I am not a Barstool Bro. I also recognize that these are D-I athletes that could all beat my ass but look man UT has sucked for the last decade and I wanted to laugh so we’re going to laugh alright?! Don’t cancel me! I have a family to feed!
A climate change protest stopped the Harvard Yale football game which is funny because they’re nerds and then not so funny because we are all finna die. *deep sigh*
Coach O screaming “roll tide what fuck you” after LSU beat Alabama
Utah State handed out 200 pounds of free bacon before one of their games. Hey man, it's really hard to compete with all the streaming services and all the other forms of entertainment out there. No shame in tempting people with some of the finest pork products in Utah courtesy of Utah Pork Producers. You go Utah State!
This is tremendous effort by Florida State University
Arkansas completes a horrible fake punt
The Sooner Schooner took a hard fall. We are allowed to laugh at this becuse 1) everyone ended up alright and 2) the horses were alright and look man OU went 11-1 so like they're good and UT lost to them so it’s all good.
This girl named Lacy got a horns down tattooed on her lip. That’s something. It’s actually not funny really. Just another bizarre thing.
The TX Department of Transportation talked shit to the state of Oklahoma the week of the OU game. Also not that funny really but weird. And makes me question why every single business or organization is on Twitter? Like did we need TX Department of Transportation on twitter? They didn’t even @ the state of Oklahoma so are they bad at talking shit? Or does the Department of Transportation in Oklahoma not have a Twitter account? Wtf man.
Ed Orgeron has a very thiccc and deeeeep Cajun accent. When you pitch it down a few octaves due to a TV glitch error, he sounds like a scary alien monster. We can laugh at this because LSU is very good and not because we discriminate against people that sound different than us.
In this video, a Cal Burkley student takes a pull of some sort of liquor during a football game and then grimaces. He doesn’t realize he’s on camera and he wasn’t actually playing in the game but it’s a thing that happened while a game was on. It’s funny because he is young and doesn't know about alcohol
This University of Tennessee player doesn't know how to use a push button phone because it is not an iPhone. This is funny because he’s young and doesn't know about old phones.
In the Cal vs Ole Miss someone yells “fuck you you communist mother fuckers” at a Cal player. The game is AT Ole Miss so I’m assuming an Ole Miss fan yelled it. This is funny because it shows the friction between the coastal elites and the deep south. Cal won the game by the way.
Cheering is great. It is good to support your friends. Sometimes passionate cheering can go too far though. In this clip, the Rutgers center punches his QB right in the face to celebrate a touchdown. That’s a little too much passion my man but I bet afterward they felt more connected and more understood by each other.
The Mississippi State quarterback becomes a helicopter.
A BYU player tackles a Tennessee player, then rips his shoe off, then proceeds to throw his shoe far away. Very funny. Probably had to call a timeout after this one.
Liberty head coach Hugh Freeze, coached a game from a hospital bed that was set up in the team’s coaching booth in a game against Syracuse. This maybe isn't funny because he did have a serious back injury and then also a serious staph infection but there is NO denying that it is absurd and absurd things can be funny sometimes.
Mack Brown is my UT Grandpa. I owe him everything. Mack Brown done and went back to his old stomping grounds this year and is coaching the University of North Carolina Tar Heels now. This makes me sad. But then I see videos of him dancing and I am happy again. Go grandpa go grandpa go!
And this:
Mack you're our got dang UT grandpa! Stop dancing like that and come home!
Last year the University of Miami had the Turnover Chain to celebrate when the defense was able to get a turnover from the other team. Well this year, they’re celebrating something different. This time it’s TOUCHDOWNs and it is being celebrated in the form of RINGS. This is semi funny but also just another absurd college football thing.
The Egg Bowl
Ole Miss and Mississippi State play an annual rivalry game called The Egg Bowl. The winner of the rivalry receives a Golden Egg as a trophy. I don’t know why. Have you ever been to Mississippi? It is a weird place so I’m not surprised their rivalry celebrates with a weird trophy. Well anyways, this year Ole Miss scored with 4 seconds left and had a chance to tie the game with the PAT. They got flagged for excessive celebration after one of their players decided to act like a dog and pee in the endzone. The flag for excessive celebration moved the PAT back, the kicker missed wide right and Mississippi State held on to win the Egg Bowl 21-20
There’s a lot that goes into this funny moment: like the fact that Ole Miss and Mississippi State are rivals. And this rivalry is called the Egg Bowl and the winner receives a Golden Egg trophy. And the fact that after this play, Ole Miss was penalized, pushed back a few yards and ended up missing the game tying extra point and lost the game. But the biggest takeaway is that this young man scored a touchdown and decided the way he wanted to celebrate this extremely athletic accomplishment was to act like a dog and fake pee in the endzone. In public. On ESPN.
I think the list above highlights why I love college football so much. Despite all the pain and sadness it causes me, it truly is just a huge conglomeration of the most ridiculous things ever wrapped into one. Coaches in hospital beds. Grandpas dancing. Touchdown Rings. Ed Orgeron. Old people trying to get young people to all compete and do things a certain way. It’s crazy. It’s weird. It’s kind of dumb and I should for sure pick up other interests but most importantly ladies and gentlemen, it’s Saturdays in the Fall.
