City of Rats: New New York Two Years In
Required reading^
I am officially two years into living in New York City, and a lot has changed. Recently rewatching the infamous New York Doc, I think back to that prepubescent first internship before moving in the city and how much has changed. Not actually that much has changed but maybe a lot has.
I have a lot more tattoos than I did previously (which was zero).
I have a new macbook.
I have five more pairs of cowboy boots.
I have five more suits.
I have 11 grey flannel trousers.
I have 2 less years to live/ be with the boys on Earth.
I have still never seen a wilder thing happen than chanting “I got 3 dads” at the Bowery subway station, and not one single time have I waited at the station without thinking of how different it would be if I myself were alone slapping the chain against the electrical circuit box. How different the situation would be if it were me by myself yelling at a subway train full of people doing a one handed clap and asking for donations but ladies drink for free. How different it would be if I by myself were not let into a club for not wearing full length pants. It was a good thing we had Dem Boyz.
When Zach B says “I have more boys than you” it was and is bigger than just that instant. When one of us has a film screening that means more boys than you ever thought would show up will absolutely show up no questions asked even if they have to get on a plane to get there. It means that more boys than should are heading straight to an Italian hospital and maybe causing more harm than good by berating an Italian nurse. It means that when you have a senior fashion show that you worked 60 plus hours on a week for over three months, that you are more proud of your friends that came to support than you are of the actual work you accomplished. I cant explain to a single person here what my group of friends is like. Not a single person I have met has anything like it anywhere else in the world. I lied about how many of yall stayed with me because they thought I was inviting a whole fraternity when I told them it was just 6 people. Dem Boyz is part of why I feel so confident that I could start a clothing line, because I know that without a doubt and no matter how shitty or good my clothing is, I have more boys than anyone else behind me.
The entire weekend of the New York doc was one of the weirdest weekends of my life. I constantly cycled between being embarrassed of my friends and proud of my friends because they didn’t give a shit what New York City thought of them. I constantly think of what New York City thinks of me and what I think of it, but for a weekend I couldn’t. I wasn’t allowed to. I took y’all to a dope jazz bar and we bought lots of expensive drinks but I honestly had more fun drinking PBR’s on my roof watching my neighbors and being terrified that Topher was going to crash the balcony and he was going down with it. It was a weekend of me battling to live by myself and for myself as I had for 8 months prior vs what I would never have taken for myself and was being offered if I had only accepted. We went to a nice ass restaurant and I didn’t have money to buy food and lied that I wasn’t hungry because I knew that y’all would have spent more money on food and drinks for me than I would have spent on myself in a whole month. Y’all bought over a thousand dollars worth of beer for friends of friends and me just for being there and told me not to pay a dime because I had a birthday that month.
I was more depressed the two days after y’all left than I ever have been in my entire life, it was a really odd feeling. It felt like I was hungover from how much y’all cared about me, that i was having to reckon with the fact that my best friends weren’t around anymore, that I was back to living against a massive city with massive good but also massive hardships by myself. But that was wrong, y’all were still there and still cared for me. Dem Boyz are forever. Having friends here that I can talk about jacket lapel widths and how wide I want my trousers to be is really great, but I know that they wouldn’t sacrifice for me in the same way. That was always the foundation of Dem Boyz, that I don’t care who you are or how different you are from me because I care about you and will sacrifice for you. If only distance and time have allowed me to realize what a true blessing Dem Boyz is I am grateful for it. Y’all are one of a kind and I am truly truly grateful for that. Dem Boyz for Eternity.